Thursday, 9 March 2017

Sending Flowers

I have two friends in Toronto, a married couple called Paul and Imogen, people i've known for forty years. I've stayed with them a few times over the years when i've visited Hogtown and they are wonderful, eccentric and highly-evolved, and both very dear to me.

Anyway, the thing is, it's Imogen's 70th birthday next week and there's a big beano being held for her on Saturday which, unfortunately, i won't be able to attend. So i decided to send her some flowers.

I haven't sent flowers to anyone since i've lived in this small Southwestern Ontario town, and i didn't know where to begin. There simply aren't many florists here and those i tried either couldn't or wouldn't. I Googled Interflora, but they don't seem to have a Canadian branch. (I couldn't find one, anyway,,,,)

At a bit of a loss to know what to do, i asked Roxanne at work – cos she's a girl and should know about flowers and schtuff – and she told me that the floral department at the local supermarket can do it for me. Eureka!

Or so i thought. But they don't do out of town deliveries. But at least the man made a constructive suggestion: order online at

So i did. It was a pretty tedious process as i don't have an account with them – why would i? -- but i finally arranged everything and was on the verge of hitting “place order now” when didn't the @%$!*&$ laptop crash! Argh, fuck me blind, why me, etc.

So i had to start all over again. Which i did, submitted to the tedious process all over again, and actually managed to place the order: $107 worth of anthuriums (anthuria?). Yikes! Flowers are expensive!

And then Victor, from Tidy's Flowers 'phoned me. They would like to have Imogen's telephone number in case of any difficulties. Why is my life so difficult? I know i have the number here somewhere but it's tricky when, with my shambolic file system, virtually everything's under M for Miscellaneous. I couldn't find it.... Eventually i messaged a mutual friend, got the number, and called Tidy's, so now all should be good.

Enjoy the ease of online ordering, they say. It's fun, they say. I need a drink.

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