The Psychology Of Smoking

Quotation of the day --Tom Waits: We're all gonna be just dirt in the ground

I'm a smoker. Not proud of it, wish i'd never started and there's a 60% chance that i'll die of lung cancer. But it's difficult to quit if you're not determined, and self-discipline has never been my strong point. Nicotine being one of the most physically-addictive substances known. But let's examine the psychology. The mind moves in mysterious ways (its wonders to perform).

When i'm sitting at home, with my butt parked in front of the computer (as it usually is), i'll have one going constantly.  But at work, i start at stupid o'clock in the morning and usually have my first harry rag (oh, sorry, "harry rag" is Cockney for "cigarette") at around 10 a.m.  I don't even start to think about lighting up until maybe 9.45.

When i'm at the boozer, i never go out for a smoke until i've put myself on the outside of my first pint.  I don't even think about a smoke until pint #2 arrives.  And when i'm on the train to Toronto -- a two-hour trip, smoking forbidden -- thoughts of a ciggie don't even enter my mind until the CN Tower comes in to view through the window.  Oh, look, there it is now.

Right well, time for a smoke

Kelsey's II

And so, after a rough work week -- my work week is Wednesday -- Monday -- i staggered into Kelsey's at around 3:30 on Monday afternoon, looking for a friendly face and sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name (and they're always glad you came).

Now, you have to remember:  Kelsey's is a really expensive spot.  My beer (to which i am devoted) costs about $1.25 more there, than it does anywhere else in town.  But that's okay, if i just wanted to drink economically, i'd drink at home, or brew my own, or drink chrome cleaner or something.  No, i go there because (as i may have mentioned) i like the people who work there.

Werrlll... it was a bit of a disappointment, as the barmaid was someone i'd never seen before.  She was very good, but not a familiar face. It was all right.  It was fine, i just sat there and read my book ("Mortal Causes" by Ian Rankin, if you must know), but i'd been hoping to see some of my favourites, Nicole, Ashley & Maggie.

And just as i was leaving (after my customary two pints) ... Nicole, Ashley & Maggie arrived for the evening shift

Kelsey's

Quotation Of The Day -- Bruce Chatwin:  We watched them go off to bed. They were two people made in heaven for each other.  They had been hopelessly in love since the day they met, yet had gradually crept into their shells, glancing away, deliberately, in despair, as if it were too good, never to be, until suddenly the reticence and anguish had melted and what should have been, long ago, now was.

Nothing whatsoever to do with me and Astrid, that quotation.  Oh, no, of course not .

Anyway.  Anyway.  Anyone who reads me regularly will know that my favourite pub in this god-forsaken town is Kelsey's. (www.kelseys.ca). It aspires to be a sports bar and that as you may realise is anathema to me; but i go there because i like the people who work there.

I have, on my flickr page, a series of photos taken from Kelsey's smoking section  -- i.e., outside their front door -- at various times of the year.  Have a look at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/34806425@N02/sets/72157619393471020/

Here's the most recent:

Working For A Living, Part III

Quotation of the day:  Oscar Wilde --Work is the curse of the drinking classes

You know, i'm normally not happy to be thought of as a member of the human race.  Generally, we disgust me.  Norway yesterday, Osama bin Laden, Hitler, the list goes on and on, serpentine, threaded throughout history.

Plus, also, too, it's human nature, it seems, to complain when things go badly but to elide when things go well.

So now i'd like to state that things today made me realise why i love what i do for a living.

Yes, yes, i moan about how much i hate it, how i'm employed well beneath my capabilities and education, working really hard for crappy wages in  mediaeval working conditions and surrounded by Neanderthals.

Today, though....  Yes, i arrived at work at 7.30 (as per usual).  I had a man scheduled at 9:00.  He didn't bother to show up at all.  I had another scheduled at 10:00.  She arrived late but was ill, and went home almost immediately.  Another 10:00 person wandered  in at 10:30, by which time the kitchen was already seriously behind schedule.  Another man showed up at 11:00 expecting to work in the nice, air-conditioned dining room -- we lassoed him and he had to work in Dante's Inferno, i mean, the kitchen.

So, seriously short-handed, seriously behind schedule on virtually everything, we then got seriously busy.  But do you know what?  We rose to the challenge and bloody hell it was hard work but we did it:  all went well.  And for me, that feeling of accomplishment is the greatest rush.

(Mind you, if it had gone badly i would have been slashing my wrists but there ya go.)

And so i rewarded myself, and paid a visit to my fave pub, Kelsey's, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came, and their Sundays seem to run about as smoothly as ours do.  There was Nicole  (one of my favourite people there) behind the bar in a bit of a daze, a glazed look on her boat, saying how much fun she'd been having with obnoxious customers all day and how she loves going home early on Sundays LOL.

Poor Nicole.  Such a beautiful girl deserves better.  Shame i'm far too old for her....

R.I.P Amy Winehouse

Dead at 27. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14262237

Not a surprise, considering the way she lived, but a bummer and a shocking waste of a great talent.  I loved her "Back To Black" album.

Although i've seen photographs of her looking wretched, here's the one i'll remember her by:

I Hate A &W!

No, i shouldn't say that.  I go in there for breakfast occasionally and it's fin.  Er, i mean, fine.  I love the sausage 'n' eggers, they've never let me down.

But, where i live, there are very few places within walking distance that are open past 8 p.m.  I often eat my din-dins later, and occasionally -- if i don't wish to wait for a pizza delivery -- A & W is only a two-minute walk away.

But, but, but why do i bother?  They almost always screw up my orders.  A few months ago (and i wrote about this) i ordered a coupla mozza burgers with flies. I mean fries.  I got home and discovered ... no fries.

Last night, i ordered a coupla mozza burgers and an order of fries.  It was more expensive than i expected, but that's cool (i said to myself), prices are rising everywhere.  When i got home, i found that they'd given me two orders of fries....

A & W has an on-line complaint form.  I complain, every time.  Do i get a response?  Well, of course, never, no.  So fuck 'em.

Working For A Living, Part II

I wrote about this once before, years ago, when i published a dead tree magazine, but it bears repeating as i am often asked the question "when is the best time to go into a restaurant if you want optimal service?"  People seem to think that i have inside information or something.

Suppose your beanery of choice operates from 11 a.m. 'til 11 p.m.  Going in right at opening time is no good, because the staff are most likely still scrambling to get everything ready, and will be unable to give you the attention you deserve.

Between, say, 11:30 & 1:30 is not a good idea, either, because the lunch service is at its height and the staff are too harried to pay much attention to you.  (Unless of course it's a crappy restaurant to which no one ever goes, but then, why would you want to go there?)

OK, then, mid-afternoon.  Er, nope.  The kitchen staff will be busy getting ready for the dinner service and the servers will be relaxing and smoking and gossiping and won't appreciate the interruption.  Sorry.

All right then, how about at dinner time?  Well... no.  For the same reason that going in at lunchtime is ill-advised:  everyone's too busy.

So, later on in the evening, after the dinner rush is over, then?  Well, gee, i hate to say this but that's pretty much out of the question too:  everyone's tired (some of them will have been there since before 11 a.m.) and they all want to clean up and go home.

So my advice?  Go in whenever the hell you wish, but if the server (or, less likely, the cook) <wink> screws up your order, don't get annoyed, accept it.  (And this applies especially if you have ordered something that isn't on the menu!)

(I see that there's a movement afoot amongst some of the best chefs -- the refusal to cater to special requests.  I agree whole-heartedly even though i'm just a grunt in a chicken joint.  The point being, according to the chefs, that they created the dish to perfection to begin with;  saying you want extra havarti or no chestnuts indicates that you are a charlatan and you deserve to be tossed out on your arse!)