Stupid Conversations – I Haz Dem Part 2

My regular reader may remember that, some years ago, i wrote about a garrulous meathead i have to work with every day. He tried to convince me that he was fluent in German – which i am not, although i know a few basic words, phrases and pronunciations – but i was suspicious when, one day, he mispronounced Angela Merkel's name (with a soft “g”). And he would arrive each day with a hearty “Guten Tagen.” Well, i don't know what that means, but i know that it means neither “good morning” nor “good day” and i grew exasperated. After one “Guten Tagen” too many i lost it: raised my voice in anger and called him a Scheiβkopf. I doubt if he knew what it meant but at least he's no longer trying to communicate in German.

Anyway, since then i've had a few run-ins with this fucktard over word-related matters and, in the interests of catharsis, i would like to share a couple of recent ones with you now. I have lost all patience with this man and up with his nonsense i will not put.

A couple of days ago, after work, i popped in to Montana's (pub) for a couple of beers. It's my medicine (and the bartender is my therapist). The next morning, Scheiβkopf said to me, “did i see you going into Montana's yesterday?” To which i replied (somewhat testily, as i was trying to work) “how the f*** would i know???” He said, you don't know if you were in Montana's yesterday? (This is a small town, everyone wants to know everyone else's business.) No, you, jackass, i know i was there, but i don't know if you saw me going in....

I usually listen to the radio at work in the mornings, and one of the stations i listen to (there are a few) is KOCI from Newport Beach California. One of their slogans is “serving all of Southern California with another classic track.” The other day, the slogan ran and they played “World Turning” by Fleetwood Mac. If that ain't a classic track, nothing is!

However, Mr 30% (i call him that because that's about the amount of effort he puts in) heard this and scoffed. “That's a classic track?!? I've never heard it before, it can't be very classic.” I didn't rise to the temptation to point out that it came from one of the best-selling albums of all time. But this a man who claims that his favourite types of music are rap and country. To me, that means that he doesn't really like music at all!

And of course there are really only two types of music: that which you like and that which you don't.

Honestly, the people i have to deal with daily....

Aphorisms

Quotation di jour ~ Arthur Fadden: Once you reach 40, never pass a lift or a lavatory."

Just some schtuff....

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job. 

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m.; for example, it could be the right number.

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap .

15. Be careful about reading the fine print.  There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with saggy   tattoos?

18. Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Chevy.

19. After 65, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.

20. Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind and the ones who mind don't matter.

21. Life isn't tied with a bow , but it's still a gift.

 And REMEMBER....

"POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR  THE SAME REASON"

And a small playlist from me:

Martin Carthy -- Crown Of Horn
Anderson Ponty Band -- Better Late Than Never
Annie Haslam -- Annie In Wonderland
Jon Anderson -- Deseo
Jefferson Airplane -- Crown Of Creation



   

"Freg" The Name

Quotation of the day ~ Martin Amis: We all have names we don't know about.

 
Someone remarked to me today that he had discovered that my occasional Internet moniker, Freg, is in fact an acronym: it stands for "flying red-eye growler." Well, i'll tell you the true story of how it came about and you can forget The Urban Dictionary's take on it (see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=freg if you must).

I'm on quite a few Internet forums (fora?) and ten or twelve years ago, on a forum devoted to ABBA, i met an Australian woman called Roo, who became a very good friend and who's the world's worst typist and doesn't use a spell-checker. I once suggested that one needed a degree in Rooish in order to understand her messages.  In the early days of our friendship, i described my appearance (i.e., lanky) and she said that i must look like i had frogs' legs, except she typed "freglogs." Other members of the group latched on to it, and soon, in other forums (forae?) with common members, it caught on. I kind of like it, too.

Just wanted to clear that up for ya.

Here's the latest installment in my CD collection:

And here's the most recent playlist. As i haven't posted in a bit it's fairly lengthy:

Terje Rypdal & The Chasers - Blue
"The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" (soundtrack album)
Kate Bush - Never For Ever
Jimi Hendrix - Live At The Royal Albert Hall
Big Country - Glasgow's Big Day Out
Rory Gallagher -- Live At Glasgow Apollo, 1982
Nazareth - Greatest Hits
Focus - Hamburger Concerto
Robin Trower - Roots And Branches
Rival Sons - Pressure And Time
Louisiana Red - When My Mama Was Living
Robin Trower - Twice Removed From Yesterday
Coverdale-Page - Coverdale-Page
Walter Trout - No More Fish Jokes
Happy Rhodes - Find Me
The Keef Hartley Band - Halfbreed
Richard Thompson - Cabaret Of Souls
Wishbone Ash - On Air
Michael Burks - Iron Man
Jack Bruce - Out Of The Storm
The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - Look At Me, I'm Wonderful
Warren Zevon - Excitable Boy

I Have A Problem With "Issues"

Quotation of the day: The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits (Anon.)

When was the word "problem" replaced by, or become euphemised as, "issue?" It's not a problem, it's an issue. Houston, we have an issue... Well, i hate it. I think it's one of those trendy management buzzwords designed to sanitize everything and make sure no one gets upset. We're up to our ankles in water at work, but we don't have a plumbing problem, we have an issue.

Well, i don't have an issue, i have a bloody problem: my socks are soaking wet.

Oh, and guess who, at my work, has just embraced the word? Stinky the egregious, appalling salad girl -- i'd never heard her use it until yesterday, but she used it about four times. I'm a great believer in enlarging one's vocabulary; trust her to screw it up.